HAMLET — The poem Rachel White read on the steps of Cole Auditorium early Tuesday afternoon wasn’t one of her own, but she said it “is basically my life story.”
She was one of the speakers at an awareness event by the Richmond County Sexual Assault Response Team.
April was designated Sexual Assault Awareness Month in 2001, with a teal ribbon becoming the symbol for awareness and prevention. This year’s theme is “Prevention is Possible.”
As Hamlet Mayor Bill Bayless read a proclamation from the city recognizing the month, he listed several statistics: one in five women and one in 71 men are sexually assaulted; and children between the ages of 12 and 17 are 2½ times more likely to become victims of sexual assault than the average person.
“I’m not a victim anymore,” White said after the program. “I’m an overcomer. I don’t like the word survivor.”
White grew up in Dillon, South Carolina, and said she had four abusers — including two uncles — throughout her life. She said her family didn’t believe her about one of the uncles until her mother walked in on him.
“All my life, nobody ever listened,” she said. “When nobody listens, you start thinking you’re the problem, it’s your fault.”
As she reached adulthood, White says she was angry and confused.
“The trauma from that is really unexplainable,” she said.
Aside from God, she credits Kelly Cunningham of New Horizons Life and Family Services, a Rockingham nonprofit that helps victims of domestic and sexual abuse — as well their children — through counseling, shelter and financial assistance services.
White heard about the center a year after moving to Rockingham through a friend who was going there at the time.
“She changed my life,” she said of Cunningham. “Just being able to listen and redirect me.”
White said there is a chance at a life for sexual abuse victims, they just have to make a conscious effort to do something about it.
“I made a decision, as hard as it was, to let go of my past so I could live in the present,” she said. “And I’m expecting marriage in my future.”
Claudia Adams reassured White about the possibility of marriage.
Adams, who was raped when she was 15, fled Michigan after suffering 12 years of domestic and sexual abuse from her second husband and moved to North Carolina.
“Sometimes, moms don’t realize they have to get out for the sake of their children,” she told the crowd. “If she has to give up one of her children, which I did, she has to do it.”
Adams later met and married Wayne, who she called her rock.
Her story is outlined in a 24-page booklet titled “Saving My Sister,” which she was giving away for free. It also includes a plan to help others get out of abusive relationships. The first step, she said, is remembering John 3:16.
Also at the event was artist Diane Poland, who displayed two ceramic pieces reflecting domestic violence.
One was a boot, with several built-in symbols, stomping on an outstretched hand holding a string of broken pearls. She said the pearls represent the innocence that was taken away and the color of the boot represented the darkness of the abuser.
The other item was a book on the outside, but a dirty kitchen with broken pottery and someone hiding in the cabinet under the sink.
Referencing the adage “You can’t judge a book by its cover,” Poland said, “You don’t always know what’s going on in somebody’s life.”
Emma Ellerbe, of the Richmond County Domestic Violence Coordinated Community Response Team, recognized several agencies — including the Rockingham and Hamlet police departments, the Richmond County Sheriff’s and District Attorney’s offices and New Horizons — for their efforts to help prevent abuse.
“This is a core sore in our community,” she said. “This hurts our families probably more than drugs.”
Hamlet Police Chief Scott Waters said sexual assault affects many lives both directly and indirectly.
“We, as a community, must unite to work together…to prevent these crimes,” he said. “We’ve got to have strength in prayer, strength in numbers.”
Reach reporter William R. Toler at 910-817-2675 and follow him on Twitter @William_r_Toler.