The 82nd Airborne Division’s Twitter account is on point


By Andy Cagle - Contributing Columnist



Cagle


Random thoughts from the Pocono rain, and fog, and tornados, and locusts, and earthquakes, and volcanoes.

Three of those did happen. Had the other three happened, it would have been hard to see through the fog…and that is your only hint.

If you bet on Chris Buescher to win at Pocono, please raise your hand. That way the rest of us can identify the liars in the room. Coming into the event, he was 31st in points and the least heralded of the Sprint Cup’s dynamic rookie class that includes Ryan Blaney in the Wood Brother’s Ford (or as it is in reality, the third Penske car) and Chase Elliott in the famed No. 24 Hendrick Motorsports ride. Buescher drives for Front Row Motorsports, a team that has competed in 668 Sprint Cup races with two wins after Monday. In those 668 races, the teams under the Front Row banner have combined for one pole.

All that being said, this is awesome. Front Row has gotten more support from Ford and Roush Fenway Motorsports, who Buescher really drives for. But NASCAR has been dominated by the Penske, Gibbs, Hendrick, Stewart-Haas crew for the last few years and there hasn’t been a whole lot of room for anyone else. Sure they may have stolen the win on a great strategy call by crew chief Bob Osborne (who spent a number of years in the same position for Carl Edwards), but at the end of the day a “W” is a “W” and they are hard to come by.

I am not against anything that gets kids out moving, being active and getting out in front of a screen. But I will say this, if I had spent my day chasing imaginary things with a phone, I think the doors would have been locked when I got home. No judgment y’all, I am getting ready to spend a whole bunch of time drafting real men for a fantasy team. Y’all keep doing you and catch them Pokemon. I’ll just pass along the advice that the 82nd Airborne Division gave through its awesome Twitter account a couple weeks ago: “Seriously, be safe this weekend. Don’t use @PokemonGoApp in restricted areas, don’t #PokemonGo and drive, don’t drink and #PokemonGo.” And for clarity, Pokemon Go is not allowed at 1000 feet in a C-130. I asked.

Five most beautiful words in the English language: New York Yankees fire sale. Sorry, Melody.

NASCAR impounded the Fords of Brad Keselowski and Greg Biffle, the Chevrolets of Kevin Harvick and Kasey Kahne, and the Toyotas of Carl Edwards and Denny Hamlin after the race at Pocono. They are heading back to NASCAR’s research and development center in Conover for a “mid-season evaluation.” In addition to the standard stuff, the cars will be heading to the wind tunnel. It makes me wonder if we heading down the road to some changes for the rest of the year. Keselowski tweeted that he wanted the results of the evaluations to be made public. I can’t say I don’t disagree with him.

So, I actually had some time to watch television that wasn’t HGTV (hipsters) or the Cooking Channel (does anyone really cook that stuff?) or Paw Patrol (libertarianism ruck amuck) last week and of course I landed on the 80’s cult classic Real Genius. I am thinking about starting a crappy 80’s movie review blog. Would any of y’all read that?

Tootsie’s Orchid Lounge is one of my favorite places to go. I am a fan of moonshine. Tootsie’s now has its own moonshine brand. My birthday was a few weeks ago. I’ll just leave that right there.

Y’all remember when Jimmie Johnson used to win races? I kinda do. The guy we are seeing now sure ain’t the guy who won six Cup championships. He hasn’t won in 16 races. The Lowe’s team has three DNFs in 21 races and only has seven top fives this year. Almost as surprising is that Johnson’s two wins in 2016 are the only wins for Hendrick Motor Sports.

Draymond Green. No. Just no.

I just can’t stress how much I love the 82nd Airborne’s Twitter. As I am writing this, I pulled up Twitter and they are in an exchange about Tweetsie Railroad. I am about to ask them about Dollywood.

Cagle
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By Andy Cagle

Contributing Columnist

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